Posted by: Wagons Ho | March 17, 2013

I’m “that mom”

Yup, I’m her. “That mom”. The one other moms talk about without naming names. The one they are so sure they are better than. And what makes me “that mom” you ask. Here are a few reasons. Warning. Some of them may offend you. “That mom” doesn’t care.

– I take my kid to daycare/school/a party/playdate when he has a cough and/or a runny nose. No, I’m not trying to get your kid sick. If he had a fever, or anything else indicating an actual illness, he wouldn’t be here.  If I didn’t take him anywhere when he had a cough and/or runny nose the kid would never leave the house.

– I get irritated when school is cancelled for no apparent reason. No my kids are not an “inconvenience” to me.  I do “care about their safety” and I do “enjoy spending time with them”. I also like using my paid time off for vacations, times they are actually sick, appointments that can’t be scheduled for a time I’m off, etc. Using it up for other reasons, or having to scramble to find an alternative because I can’t take the day off, irritates me.

– I might ask what you do/do you work without adding “outside the home”. I HATE walking on eggshells when asking a simple question about rather or not you have a job. And what is with all this “I work. I’m the CEO/CFO/cook/maid/blah, blah, blah of our family”? I do all that and have a job too. I mean, when did being a stay at home mom become something you have to be so defensive about? So you don’t work. That’s great. You don’t see me getting all high and mighty when you ask if I stay at home. Own your choice. You are a stay at home mom. There is no shame in that.

– I will yell at your kid if they are playing at my house and doing something they shouldn’t be. If you don’t like it let the kids play at your house. And when you do, please, feel free to keep my kid in line while he’s there.

– I let my kid use public restrooms by himself. He’s been using the potty for several years now. He can read. He doesn’t want to go in the girls bathroom. I’m not dropping him off at the mall for the day. He’s going pee. He knows the rules and I’m watching the clock. If you want to drag your  30 year old son into the girls room because you never let him pee on his own that’s your business.

– I let my kid play outside, with his friends, without my constant supervision. In the unfenced front yard even. He knows the rules, and I’m checking on him. Doesn’t mean I don’t care, or worry when I don’t see him right away when I look out the window. He needs some freedom and will never learn to be responsible if I don’t give him chances to do that.

– I don’t do Elf on the Shelf, Leprechaun visits, or any of the other messy, hours of planning involved before hand, extra clean up after, “traditions”. Yes I love my kids. We are making memories with them. I just don’t think I need to make my life difficult to do that.

– I leave my kids alone with my husband. Mommy needs sanity breaks. He’s not babysitting. He’s taking care of his kids. He can feed them, give them a bath and put them to bed without my presence. If he couldn’t I probably wouldn’t have married him and I certainly wouldn’t have had kids with him.

I could list many more but here’s the thing about me being “that mom” to you. You are “that mom” to me at times too. I roll my eyes, I have judgmental thoughts, I sometimes think I’m doing it better than you. Here’s what I don’t do. I don’t make nasty comments about how you don’t love your kids, you are a terrible mother, or the many other things I’ve seen more and more of lately. I may be doing it differently than you but that doesn’t mean I’m doing it worse. Parenting is hard. We are all finding our way. If you have found a way to be perfect at it then goody for you. I’m not perfect. My kids are alive, healthy and happy and, as far as “that mom” is concerned, that’s all that matters.

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