Posted by: Wagons Ho | July 26, 2013

Hello brother

A couple of months ago we found out that Max has two siblings living in the area (The Sibling Situation). I finally worked up the nerve to contact the social worker at the agency that placed them. She was very nice, listened to all my concerns and helped put my mind at ease about most of them. We found out that the other families had met twice and were hoping we would also be interested in being in contact with them. We agreed to share our information and nervously waited for them to contact us.

It didn’t take long for them to email. Max has an older brother, and a younger sister. All three of them are about a year apart in age. Both families seem very nice and understand that we are still trying to process all of this. It was exciting to see pictures of his siblings and hear a bit about their adoption stories. We also learned that the family who adopted his brother have another child who is adopted. She is just a few months older than Trapp, is in the same grade and, judging from the pictures only, looks like she might also be bi-racial. Such a weird coincidence.

After a few emails back and forth we agreed to keep in touch and try to schedule a time for the adults to get together in person. Fast forward to this week. We get an email inviting us to a picnic with both families this weekend. We decided to go for it and so we’ll be packing up and heading out for this next step.

Marshall and I decided not to tell the boys anything at this point other than we will be meeting some new friends who are also adopted. They are both too young to understand the dynamics of all of it. Plus, Trapp has made some comments recently about feeling like his birth-family doesn’t really love him since they never come to visit. We’ve explained to him all the reasons behind why they don’t come to visit but it’s hard for a 6-year-old to understand. Adding in that we are spending time with Max’s biological siblings would probably be way too much for him now.

We’re excited to meet the families, and hear more of their stories, but are nervous at the same time. I’m sure everything will go smoothly but it’s kind of like going on a blind date. We want them to like us, and hopefully not be crazy. The good part about having the kids with us is we can totally use them as an excuse to get out of there if things aren’t going well. I just have to hope we aren’t the crazy ones and that the boys play nicely with everyone. Maybe I should bring some bandaids just in case.


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