Posted by: Wagons Ho | January 13, 2016

I saw it on the internet

When we first found out mom was sick she didn’t want people to know so we only told a few close family members and friends. We locked down our Facebook pages so people who knew couldn’t “accidentally” share the information. We circled the wagons and kept our struggle to ourselves.

As the weeks passed it got harder to tell people, so we didn’t. We believed that the treatments would work and we could tell people once she was better. Time flew by and then she was gone. Now we had to call family members and friends who didn’t even know she was sick and tell them that she had died. Even then we only told a relatively small circle of people.

So here I am, almost 3 weeks after mom passed, finding myself having to tell people a few times a day that my mom died. Just a couple weeks ago I wanted to scream it at everyone. Now I hate saying the words. I hate having to say thank you when they say how sorry they are. I hate the awkward silence as they don’t know what else to say. And honestly there isn’t anything they can say. I’ve been in their shoes. It sucks to be on both sides.

I keep thinking I really need to send an email, write a post, tweet it out. One giant “Hey my mom died. It was terrible. Thanks for all the cards, flowers, etc. Don’t feel bad if you didn’t know. I’m doing ok most of the time.” status update to get the word out. I’ve been avoiding it though. I say I can’t find the right words but that’s not really the issue. I just don’t want to say the words. I swear it was easier to tell complete strangers than to try and tell people who actually know me.

Maybe I can find a meme to say the words for me. Something horribly inappropriate yet accurate. (Side note there are actually memes for this. Who knew.) Or I can just suck it up, say the words and be done. One post. I can do this.






  1. Praying for you!!! I understand your pain. My dad passed away a week & 1/2 ago & the pain hurts me physically

    • I’m so sorry for your loss.

      • thank you. And I’m sorry for your loss. No words can take away the pain

      • They really can’t. 😦

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