Posted by: Wagons Ho | January 23, 2016

Highs and Lows

I was having a rough week. I cried through church on Sunday. I broke down and cried for a good half hour at work one day. Thank goodness I telecommute! I had a moment where I thought “I should call mom” and had to remind myself I can’t do that anymore. I wallowed in thoughts of things I should have done and said. I wrapped myself in grief and floated through the days. Max asked me if we’ll be sad forever. I said I hope not but I didn’t sound convincing.

I woke up Thursday morning and told myself enough was enough. Time for the pity party I was having to be over. I concentrated on all the good things that happened just this week alone. And there were several.

I drug myself to a playdate I didn’t want to go to and enjoyed a couple of hours of adult conversation about nothing important.

Marshall and I fixed the dryer that had squeaked forever. Under $100, and a couple of hours of our time, and it’s purring like a kitten. What did people do before YouTube videos showed you have to repair stuff?

Dad said I should call the insurance company about the leaks in the roof, so I did. They sent out an inspector and he found storm damage. He’ll be recommending they replace the entire roof. Paying for the deductible vs. a whole new roof is making my bank account very happy.

I cuddled with the kids. I watched tv with Marshall. I played with the dogs.

I got everything on my list before the big storm hit, and didn’t have to run anyone over or wait in line for hours.

I have a warm house, warm clothes, a full fridge. I have family and friends who love me.

I know it’s ok to be sad, to have bad days, to have regrets, but I also know that it won’t last forever. That the good will almost always outweigh the bad. That I can be sad without being sad forever. Mom wouldn’t want that and she would be really mad that I was upsetting “her kids”.

 

 

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