Posted by: Wagons Ho | July 28, 2016

7 Months

I thought I was doing ok. I had stopped crying every single day. I wasn’t as snappy at the kids. I was sleeping better. I stopped having headaches every day, and wasn’t scratching my head bloody anymore. I was wrong.

I spent Tuesday alternating between being mad and non-stop crying. Thankfully I telecommute so the rants, and blubbering over my keyboard, were only witnessed by the pets. By the end of the work day my head was killing me, I could barely see through my puffy eyes, and all I wanted to do was call mom and talk to her about the crappy day I was having. It was miserable. I miss her so much.

After seven months it shouldn’t be this hard. I don’t expect everything to be sunshine and roses but shouldn’t I be able to get through the 26th of each month by now without falling apart? Seeing her in pictures, hearing her voice on my parent’s answering machine,  dealing with the estate, these are all things that I know will be hard. They are things I prepare myself for. But for some reason I never prepare myself for the stupid 26th.

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